Sam Lapides goes to the grocery store to buy some salt

I distinctly remember Lou Holtz telling this joke, which is classic today.

Sam Lapides (that was his character that he used), Sam Lapides goes to the grocery store to buy some salt. He goes to the grocer and he says to the grocer, “Have you got, do you have salt?”

And the man says, “Have I got salt? Have I got salt? Here, take a look this wall. Salt, salt. Take a look down here. Salt, salt. Take a look here. Barrels salt, boxes salt. Come on downstairs. I show you more salt. That kind of salt. We have salt here. And where else? Salt. Salt. My God.”

And Sam Lapides says, “This is marvelous, but will you ever sell all this salt?”

And the grocer he says, the grocer says, “Me? I can’t sell salt, but the guy who sells me salt, OH can he sell salt.”

–Shelley Berman (When Jews Were Funny)

Eyesight goes down hill when I’m tired

My eyesight continues to decline year after year.  One of the things I don’t recall being a problem when I was younger, is how sleep deprivation can affect my eyesight.  When I’m tired, I can barely focus on a computer screen.  Blurred letters and double-vision make it almost impossible to do any kind of work.  Fortunately, getting some sleep seems to restore my eyes – at least for now.